Watch the whole thing. Honest. Please.

Having bought a goodly amount of USO early on Wednesday, this glance at the updated crude oil chart makes me a skosh nervous. USO looks great, but the run-up to that Fibonacci gives me the heeby-jeebies, technically speaking.

My portfolio across four accounts has, overall, been "running in place" for more weeks than I care to count. It's really boring, and really monotonous. Plus it's a lot of work just to hold my ground! That's why I've been moaning for a sustained trend. I'm glad to have prevented overall losses through all this insanity, but I want growth across all my portfolios. Grrr!

One interesting thing going on now - - and today is a fine example - - is how the /ES, in spite of punching into unsettling new highs, has seem to have lost its way. It's not really moving higher anymore in any sustained fashion.

I am hearing from many people whom I respect deeply - - some of them well-know bloggers - - that this market is driving them nuts and they are tempted to just walk away for the summer. I can understand the sentiment.

If you're frustrated............if you're being driven crazy by this market............at least rest assured you are not alone.

My penile augmentation surgery was a tremendous success. You can now call me: Mr. Tripod

The adjunct, less important, toe procedure also went very smoothly. I am at this moment typing from my bed. Thanks, Piker, for being Mr. New Post guy. I truly appreciate it. I'm bemused by the fact I was able to post three times while under sedation. Where's my Blogger's Medal of Honor?

My portfolio was up a small five figures when I got out of surgery, so I was pleased to hear that. Less pleased was I that they had to insert a metal pin through my toe, which is going to be there for three weeks to keep everything in place.

Needless to say I have a lot of catching up to do. Thanks, Slopers, for putting up with this most peculiar day on the blog.

God willing, I am out of surgery now and will do a post-market post once the sedatives have worn off.

If all goes well, this post (and the two to follow) will magically appear while I am under the knife, undergoing the world's first brain transplant. Here are some stocks I think will be superb shorts once they get up a bit higher. They are worth watching.

I have put a trio of scheduled posts up. If all goes well (which it seldom does), they will appear at 11, noon, and 1 p.m. PST. Fellow Sloper pikertrader has kindly offered to be my NEW POST guy.

Good luck to us all! See you on the other side.

The shrinking VIX is heading for the low 20s. Current VIX values represent typical levels seen before any of the financial crisis even started happening.

I'm tilting more and more bullish. Part of it is that my shorts are blowing up one by one (which is what stops are for), part of it is that my IRA longs just keep kickin' butt, and part of it is that - - well - - let's face it, the sell-offs are pathetically tiny.

So I'm taking a simpleton's approach and going long on those items which look most promising. Here are some new positions with the stops I am using.

A 17.25
ATHR 14.81
BHI 35.04
CMG 71.29
COMV 7.99
FST 17.12
LUK 19.64
OIH 100.37
PBI 21.03
SII 26.54
SPWRA 24.29
TS 25.95
TXN 16.56
UPL 43.99
VFC 53.50
WFR 15.42

Trying to short this market over the past 11 weeks has been nothing more than a colossal waste of time. And that's all I've got to say about that.